state of confusion

assalamualaikum. selawat dan salam atas baginda Rasulullah SAW. alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

honestly, i have not turned on my laptop since the last post that i made bfore apart from doing assignments and catching up some movies that i cant hold back and u can do the calculation of how long was i being so isolated from the 'great' IT world. lolol. haha. anyhow, i'm so not emotionally stable this days mainly because of the insecurities that i have rght now. things are getting wayy out of hand. janji ditabur seperti menanam tebu di tepi bibir. ehh sejak bila pulak ni pndai brmadah. haha. i'm cnsidering my future. greatly. well i'm not the kind of person who's keen of thinking about things like that but rght now, i cant really help it. its like we're so much at the edge and i must say that its quite hard. everyone's getting emotional and i could see some 'hopes' drifting away. its hard. for all of us. i guess. but buckle up! its the spice of lives or else we wont feel the real taste of what life really is about. special dedication for AP though i know they will never read this. hihi.

blessing in disguise. i encounter 1 almost every day but not that i realize of. pity huh. i know but its inevitable that i need time to actually figure it out. this  occurrence for instance. i never know that i really am interested in medicine bfore. i thought that i might just go with the flow and i do doubt what i am going to do next. its like for once, i do feel the need of why i am going to apply for mdicine. alhamdulillah. but yeah, life's not as smooth as it seen.

my  research project is not budging AT ALL. and i'm at my wits end. for now, i cant even see the light of hope but i must gather myself and wish for the better tmorrow. in syaa Allah. other subjects are okay for now and i hope they will always be. amin2 and i have to say, i am looking frward in doing some charity work this sem for jati diri class. i'd like to feel the frst-hand exprience of doing such thing. sy tahu sy jakun. maaf. its my frst time. what do u expect. hihi :)

p/s : great time spent today wth high school mate, kimah. appreciate each second and i hope to see the others as well. lets bear this for just another 4 months and off the hook bfore starting the horrendous degree years. hihi ;)

p.p/s : rmember the thing that i said bfore about changing to the better? alhamdulillah and i did with quite hesitation at frst. hehe. doakan sy terus kuat. in syaa Allah