asasi, undergraduate prgram in ukm

assalamualaikum wbt. salam dan selawat atas baginda RasulAllah SAW. alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

i was intrviewed for ukm medical faculty at may 28th. just to make this clear, i didnt manage to get 4flat. its quite far below from that actually. hihi but i have to say, i really wnt to do medic so, i'm going to keep holding my hope high with the little advantage of once coming from ukm itself. hehe. but if i am not qualified for it, then geology does not sound so bad. i can still make the world a better place to stay. wee.

anyway, the whole family went to kl a day bfore. though they said that they were there to give me company, the excitement in their faces kind of deny it. haha. how could an intrview gave them so much joy. lol. its obvious they wnted to venture the mall. haha. anyhow, its good to have them by my side :)

sblum intrview, there was this test called aptitude test. its seems like it is just a test to know whether u really are up into taking medic or not. nothing serious. hoho. as for intrview, there were 2 interviewers. and the way interviews were conducted may vary. some have it 100% english and for some other, bilingual and may also be solely in malay. so luck it is. hehe. one golden tip, if u really want to be a doctor then emphasize that to your heart content. dont show doubts. feel free to tell them your passion which of course u have to really have the interest. they don't want a weakling.

the good thing is to come. the interviewers were really nice once u are actually in it so don't be afraid. yeah some may give u faces but they merely wntd to know how u would react to that. hehe. it's like the frst time i met my mentors. i thought that they would be drop dead serious but they were obviously not. haha. so don't be afraid. and here i am telling this when i myself freaked out the day bfore. lol.

that's that about my interview.

just a brief info about asasi ukm, we have a quite dfferent syllabus compared to other foundation. most of the syllabus are adapted from the AP syllabus but, as my fellow asasi friend once said, it's an AP modified malaysian kind of syllabus so, i guess it's actually dffrent from the original one.

SEM 1

biologi 1

fizik 1

kimia 1

penaakulan mantik

statistik

kmahiran penyelidikan

appresiasi bahasa dan kesusasteraan

pembangunan jati diri kebangsaan

SEM 2

biologi 2

fizik 2

kimia 2

kalkulus vektor

projek penyelidikan

analisis kritikal isu semasa

kepimpinan dan membuat keputusan

well, these are the subjects taken there and sbjects like logical reasoning, statistics, calculus, analysis and kepimpinan are actually taken during undergraduate for certain courses. supposedly but, these are the dffrences when cmpared to other asasi. people might say that it looks harder compared to other foundations. even the director of asasipintar itself said that this programme is the toughest asasi in malaysia. and so she said.

i have to say that yes, it is hard but it's not fair to say that other foundations are not. researches are actually done during undergraduates or masters and there we were, doing thesis during our foundation year. my mentors, prof amara and prof rashidah actually said that they pity me because i have to do this research thingy. so, yes i have to say it is hard and enjoyable, if i may say. but, if i am to be going for other asasi, matriks or stpm itself, i might as well find that it is hard too. so easily said, it depends on the person itself to manage yourself. u cant just say that it is hard on u and not others. each people cope with things in their own way.

conclusively, the subjects and the studies are tolerable if u have good peers around and they also are if u are smart in handling them. the thing is, asasipintar is newly established so, it is not well-known (not recognized in other u)  and the worst, the management of it is bad. we are the frst cohort so there are many trials acted upon us so we may as well known as lab rats. there will always be errors in trials so, there will be some cons in a way. eventually, i think all the problems will be solved anyway. hihi. and there might be changes along the way. all in all, asasipintar is always a good choice if u like to dig deeper and do smthing new especially if u are a science maniac. weeeheee.

p/s : i know that i'm too late in posting this infrmation. dyeorg dh buat pilihan. msuk dh pn asasi. haha. not so brief eh? -.-

p/p/s: ukm is known as the only univrsity in mlaysia that use malay lnguage. well, for asasi, it's all in english except fr the jati diri sbject. tp nti msuk dgree same je. melayu jgk. kcuali kalau pngajar tu mat salleh :)

shahadatul haq, ghazwul fikr

assalamualaikum wbt. salam dan selawat atas baginda RasulAllah SAW. alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

 its been sooooo long. hihi. as stated in previous post, its going to be about the daurah that i went before coming home. couple of months ago i think. hihi. i'm not sure either what took me so long to start writing ths back :)

anyway, have u heard of shahadatul haq and ghazwul fikr? well, those 2 are the main point that i would like to share here. if  u never heard of them, its my pleasure if u could take some time and try to read this. it's going to be in the simplest layman term or precisely, my term. haha. sorry if the information is inadequate but u can always try to google more about it. i am writing solely based on what i have in mind rght now so it might be very simple. anyhow, i hope that u could put some thinking and appropriate efforts regarding this :)

SHAHADATUL HAQ.

what first comes to your mind when u read this? kalau korang fikirkn ttg 2 kalimah shahadah then well done, it is!

prkataan aku bersaksi itu sndiri. zahirnya kita akn fikir mksud dia ialah mengakui dan percaya ttg mnde tu. it is but, try to put it in another situation where u happen to witness an accident. that makes u a witness, right? saksi. dan sebagai saksi, kita harus bgtau org lain ttg mnde tu. hbis2 pn kne report polis. and this is what SH is all about. kita perlu menyampaikan mnde yg betul tu. kalau x bgtau org, people won't know jd di mana manfaatnya penyaksian anda kpd org lain. mase daurah tu akak usrah ad bagi beberapa ayt utk mnerangkn lg ttg SH ni. 

Dan (ingatlah), ketika Tuhanmu mengeluarkan keturunan anak anak Adam dari sulbi mereka dan Allah mengambil kesaksian terhadap jiwa mereka (seraya berfirman), “Bukankah Aku ini Tuhanmu?, mereka menjawab, BENAR (Engkau Tuhan Kami), Kami menjadi SAKSI… 

(Al A’raf 7: 172)

Dan kami jadikankanmu (wahai umat Muhammad) satu ‘umat pertengahan’ , supaya kamu layak menjadi orang yang memberi keterangan kepada umat manusia (sebagai SAKSI, tentang yang benar dan yang salah) dan Rasulullah (Muhammad) pula akan menjadi orang yang menerangkan kebenaran perbuatanmu.

(Al-Baqarah: 143)

kesimpulannya, adalah menjadi tnggungjwb kita sbgai seorg umat islam utk mnyampaikn agama islam itu sndiri. x smestinya kt org bkn islam je. org islam juga msih rmai yg belum sempurna imannya trmasuk sy. krna itu, adlah pnting utk kita  saling mengingatkan ke arah kebaikan. skrg korang dh tahu ttg mksud sbenar penyaksian kita jd, fikir-fikirkan :)

jujurnya, mnde ni sgt berat buat sy. when i frst heard of it,i was overwhelmed. i still am actually. didnt do much snce i frst and last heard about it. i dnt know how to act upon knowing so i hope this post can be of an help in some way to help us as muslims in understanding more about islam.

GHAZWUL FIKR.

ghazwul mksudnye serangan. fikr plk, fikiran. so there it is, serangan pemikiran. sbgaimana wasiat raja louise ke-6 (perancis) :

"tiada jalan utk mengalahkan dan mnuasai org2 islam mlalui jln perang.agama mreka mndorong mreka utk mlawan,  berjihad, mengorbankn jiwa... kita mesti lakukan jln lain iaitu mengubah pemikiran islam dan mnjinakkan org2 islam  melalui serangan pemikiran.  cendikiawan eropah harus mengkaji tamadun islam dan  mncipta senjata utk mrosakkn pmikiran org2 islam"

sbenarnya sejarah GF ni seawal syaitan laknatullah di mana:

Sesungguhnya Allah melarang kalian memakan buah ini  supaya kalian berdua tidak menjadi malaikat dan tidak dapat hidup abadi.

(Al A'raf 7:20)

serangan pmikiran ni byk bidang. even bidang yg x disngka2. pendidikan, sejarah, ekonomi, paling senang, media massa. ad lg bidang lain tp sy lupa. boleh la lps ni silau2 kt mne cari psl mnde ni eh. tp mmg betul kn. dlm kita hidup sng2 ni, mmg prnh trlintas psl mnde ni but never give it a deep thought. fikir sikit2 then biar je. terus hidup lg ikut arus. i was and sadly, i am. tp insyaAllah, dgn skeping ilmu yg ada ni, i'll try to bear these in mind and try to make up the best out of it. aminn.

just to make it clear. GF ni bhya tau. korang x sedar pn kekadang tu. mngkin ad antara kita yg hidup fikir nk brjaya je. cuba fikir balik, apa erti sbnar hidup kita ni. nk brjaya semata2 ke? tula apa  yg musuh2 islam cuba sematkn sbnarnye. nk buat kita mkin jauh dgn agama. wallahualam.

i think this is it. maaf kalau ad silap dlm post ni. kalau prasan tolong tegur. hehe. and if u wnt to know more about these two, try to search for it. boleh jgk kalau nk tnye sy and insyaAllah kalau sy tau, jwblah. tp kalau x tahu, ermm sy cuba cari and tnye sesape. wee. lps dh tahu psl ni, apa tndakan korang? fikir2 kan :)

asasi dah habis!

assalamualaikum wbt. selawat dan salam atas baginda SAW. alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

wee finally asasi dh habis. glad to say that i am free from the outrageous year of foundation. fyi, i was in asasipintar ukm as i mentioned before. hihi see the underline there. lol.

erm we had our final exam from 1st of april to 8th and i think we wrapped that up pretty well except that i cried like a baby after that chemistry paper. seriously, in my whole life, that was the most disastrous paper that i ever took. bfore, even if i did not know the answer, i had the main idea of what i didnt know. i mean, i just didnt know how to put it as words in paper but this, i was freaked out, out of my mind. i just blanked. more than half of the questions were hard for me that i could not answer and i think in the history of my life, this is the paper that i did not answer the most. i just freaked out.

right after the last exam, we went out to buy things for dinner the next day. horrendous right? nyehehe. tgh tnggu smpai mid dlm ktm, i messaged mdm suganty. lol. never did i did things like that. i just felt the need of that so that she wont be so disappointed in me when she check my chemstry paper. anyhow, we went to buy things until midnight. practically. and when we got back, they did this roll call thingy  that never was done before. at least not that i am aware of. super lol. kteorg x penah2 balik lewat cenggitu and for the frst time, boom! haha.

dinner on 9th april and though it was not quite as expected, i have to say that i enjoyed each tick with these precious guys. i'm surprised myself actually to see that even its not as grand, i felt the warmth of the companionship.

11th april we had to present our research. surprise surprise! at frst it should be done on 12th but somehow it became 11th. my research had no progress at all for like months and in 1-day time, i had to finish it all and i think quite a bunch of us did as well. please imagine this; most of us stayed up   the night before  chemistry paper bcause the syllabus was quite a lot. the next day we were busy for the preparation of dinner and stayed up. next day, the dinner itself wrapped up late, early morning, should i say. the next day on 10th, we had to start doing research for presentation and once again, stayed up to finish it all by 11th, the next day. for 4 days straight, my sleep was not as usual. my biological clock was terribly messed up. and the streak actually went on until 17th, the day we had to submit our thesis. imagine that. for the frst time again, i slept at 6++ in the morning, the last day to finish up all this big thingyyy. my biological clock was one massive mess. i slept irregularly for roughly 10days. these 10 days were seriously packed and jammed with mostly research. lol. most of us did. once the thesis was submitted, it was like a big burden finally lifted off my shoulder. alhamdulillah. and we hanged out for the last time ramai2 kt mines. hik2.

i want to put pictures in this post but maybe in the next post. insyaAllah nk kongsi sikit pasal daurah yg kami pergi. insyaAllah kalau ad kelapangan.

p/s: my grandather is admitted in hospital now. haemorrhage. mohon semua doakan yg terbaik utk dia. amin2.

don't be afraid to read Quran

assalamualaikum. selawat dan salam atas baginda SAW. alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

just realized that i've posted just one miserable post this year. lol. haha. well i'm so not good in describing my life what's more writing it up. anyway, i don't know what to write but i make an effort, at least.

An old man lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa wakes up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Qur'an. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.  One day the grandson asked, 'Grandpa! I try to read the Qur'an just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Qur'an do?'  The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, 'Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water.' The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, 'You'll have to move a little faster next time,' and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead.  The old man said, 'I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough,' and he went out the door to watch the boy try again. At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would Leak out before he got back to the house. The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, 'See Grandpa, it's useless!'  'So you think it is useless?' The old man said, 'Look at the basket.' The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out. 
'Son, that's what happens when you read the Qur'an. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Allah in our lives.' 

honestly, i am not accustomed to read the meaning of Quran but i am trying. still, seeing this article somehow makes me rest assured that whatever it is, try to read Quran though you may not understand. i'm not saying that you shouldn't try, but make the most effort that you can do. you can read, so read it to your hearts' content. 

p/s: i don't know how to start my research. plus my final is going to be this 1st april. what to do -.-'

bridging the gap

assalamualaikum wbt. selawat dan salam atas baginda rasul Allah SAW. alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

ermm regarding my research, alhamdulillah i finally have my mentor for sure. very grateful for that since i feel that at least i have someone to back me up.hehe andd she's going to be here in bangi this tuesday. yay2. my mentor is prof amara and because of her and other doctors, i feel certain, again! that i do want to be a doctor. they are just extremely nice :)

talking about that, ermm mdm roz asked us to fill up a paper with what we're going to further in later. its as if upu laaa. and i hope i make the right choice. hehe. my frst choice, as you might have guessed, medicine. geology and economy as my 2nd and 3rd choice rspectively. i really am crossing my fingers hoping for the best. i've given a lot of thoughts in making these choices so i think i'm not going to regret for any of them :)

ohh and i went to kem sinergi just a few days before at melaka. its somewhere in melaka laa. forgot the name of the place but it was fun. i did the repel thing where you turun guna tali from above. tinggi woo. i am severely afraid of height and you can just imagine how i felt doing that. btw its held by kuim which i myself frst heard of it. it's kolej universiti islam melaka. the way i see this kem is to strengthen the bond of muslims. in a good way.  so muslims, lets strive for for the betterment of Islam. bersatu atas nama Islam insyaAllah.
p/s : abg2 long hensem. lololo. gatai naa. and akak2 sgt manis brpurdah dan brtudung labuh :)

my mid term exam was done and i am in the process of getting back the papers and scores. cuak jgk sbb wktu jawab exam macam ape je. haha. i'm  just hoping for the best insyaAllah.

adios amigos. dont know when else i'll have the chance to post again so ganbatte kudasai.

state of confusion

assalamualaikum. selawat dan salam atas baginda Rasulullah SAW. alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

honestly, i have not turned on my laptop since the last post that i made bfore apart from doing assignments and catching up some movies that i cant hold back and u can do the calculation of how long was i being so isolated from the 'great' IT world. lolol. haha. anyhow, i'm so not emotionally stable this days mainly because of the insecurities that i have rght now. things are getting wayy out of hand. janji ditabur seperti menanam tebu di tepi bibir. ehh sejak bila pulak ni pndai brmadah. haha. i'm cnsidering my future. greatly. well i'm not the kind of person who's keen of thinking about things like that but rght now, i cant really help it. its like we're so much at the edge and i must say that its quite hard. everyone's getting emotional and i could see some 'hopes' drifting away. its hard. for all of us. i guess. but buckle up! its the spice of lives or else we wont feel the real taste of what life really is about. special dedication for AP though i know they will never read this. hihi.

blessing in disguise. i encounter 1 almost every day but not that i realize of. pity huh. i know but its inevitable that i need time to actually figure it out. this  occurrence for instance. i never know that i really am interested in medicine bfore. i thought that i might just go with the flow and i do doubt what i am going to do next. its like for once, i do feel the need of why i am going to apply for mdicine. alhamdulillah. but yeah, life's not as smooth as it seen.

my  research project is not budging AT ALL. and i'm at my wits end. for now, i cant even see the light of hope but i must gather myself and wish for the better tmorrow. in syaa Allah. other subjects are okay for now and i hope they will always be. amin2 and i have to say, i am looking frward in doing some charity work this sem for jati diri class. i'd like to feel the frst-hand exprience of doing such thing. sy tahu sy jakun. maaf. its my frst time. what do u expect. hihi :)

p/s : great time spent today wth high school mate, kimah. appreciate each second and i hope to see the others as well. lets bear this for just another 4 months and off the hook bfore starting the horrendous degree years. hihi ;)

p.p/s : rmember the thing that i said bfore about changing to the better? alhamdulillah and i did with quite hesitation at frst. hehe. doakan sy terus kuat. in syaa Allah

perfect suavity

assalamualaikum. selawat dan salam atas baginda Rasulullah SAW. alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

hrmm. what did i miss? i guess a lot. fyi, i had my final exam startng from the frst of oct until 10th of oct. the papers that had to be taken were calculus, statistics, language and literary appreciation, physics, chemistry and biology. and i got home by 12th of oct and still am home. have my frst sem result in my hand and alhamdulillah even if it might be not enough for me to further in medic, nonetheless, i'm grateful with it. my sem break was disastrous. all days went by completely in vain except for days when i had my muet test and days that i think of as worthwhile since i could meet my best friends though the family were not complete. hihi. anyhow, it's good to be back :)

my break is going to meet its end very soon. sooner than i thought. i did nothing during these time. neither my bio fore-study nor the research thingy. what makes it worse is that the moment i'll be going back to ukm, i heard that we're going to take a test. an english test. a british council placement test to be precise. i'm doomed. and the fact that i have to read the bio notes for that there will be a diagnostic test carried on is not making me feel any better than this. as for my research, i dont even want to think about it. or else my head's going to explode. i want to start doing something but at times like this, i dont know where to start. once i make my kickstart then i think i'm good to go. to be honest, i dont know what am i blabbing about right now. i just feel like posting something since its been a while. well, i want to share some of works that i'd done in my language class. the poster and concrete poem. all these were for my carry marks. hihi.

SPM boarders out there, wishing you all the best. i might be of no help but i want you to think of the main purpose of why did you study all these while. is it all gets down to SPM? NO! so ikhlaskan hati untuk blajar. i know this sounds very cliche but u need to think of the real reason, the purpose of studying. as much as u hate ths fact, u need to accept that the learning process is never ending. face it and lapangkan dada mencari dan menerima ilmu. the more we learn, the more we dont know. kalau hati ikhlas mencari ilmu, insyaAllah x akan hadir rasa berat dlm hati kita mase belajar. my prayers are always with you. special dedication for my sister. please believe in yourself.

tracing up the past

assalamualaikum. selawat dan salam atas baginda Rasulullah SAW. alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

its been like ages since then. i have nothing left in my head. i mean, this, rght now and then, awkward. haha. whatever it is, there's way too many things apparently happen these past few weeks. literally too many that i dont know where to start and what to start. heh. honestly i barely cope with life these days so, its like impossible for me to do something like this blog thngy and thats how this blog ends up like this. hihi.

this is bfore raya break. we went to jalan tar to buy goods for raya even that weekend was like helly busy with calculus' assignment. i really wish to wipe out the thought of having those work. huuu.

later, we had jmuan buka puasa ngn ank yatim at prmatapintar. prof bg duit raye kt bebudak tu and there we were goofing around as if there're nothing. x snonoh.

week after, we had buka puasa with the prime minister. dpt duit raye yg agak byk and agak banyak goodies dpt. alhamdulillah. lain2 no komen.

and then RAYA!! thnks for those yg dtg raye kt umah.

last week i went to jati diri camp at pd with all other ap students. terrific with no flaw if not that my arm and legs felt like breaking, tearing apart. serius letih. tp best espcially naik rakit. alhamdulillah all of us are safe and sound in one piece.

and today, farewell friend. hmmpph sigh. hihi. wan asma wan abd aziz, i wish u all the best and insyaAllah akn mndoakan apa yg terbaik utk kita semua. smoga kita smua berada di bawah kredaan-Nya. syuk tkah kmah fizah asma pini esyah mira and fatin, i wnt u to know that u are among those pillars of strength that Allah gives to me. i'm grateful to have these people in my life. alhamdulillah i am surrounded by people who loves me for who i am. eh yeke? i assume laa. families with unconditional love even bickers do happen and ap friends whom i spend most of my time with. uhibbukum fillah abadan abada insyAllah.

post ini teramatlah panjang. sorry for the inconvenience but this is the summation of what happened during my absence. i'm happy to say that i'm happy even it's hard. well, in 2 or 3 weeks i suppose, i'm going to sit for final exam. wish me luck and i'll wish yours. biiznillah, we all are going to nail it. insyaAllah.

p/s: sy sedang menanam cita2 sekarang and i wish to change to the better. doakan yg terbaik utk sy. doakan hati sy makin kuat and apa yg sy rasa skrg x akn berkurang. amin.

salam ramadan

assalamualaikum and selawat dan salam atas baginda Rasulullah SAW. alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

actually i have nothing to say but since it's been a while since i post something, i guess i'll just try to squeeze something out of my thoughts. ermm well i'm kind of a keen observer and as it is, i observe people a lot. i try to come out with my own explanation about the oddities shown by others. not that kind of oddities, i mean the good one. the one when they react differently with certain people. and anyhow, i find quite a bunch of new things that i think are totally absurd but somehow, do happen. so, i guess i'll just continue my observation and maybe i would come out with some kind of research about human's action. haha who knows? what's more interesting is, most of what i predicted from what i see is true and i'm more attached to doing this kind of thing. 

ohh and i finished my reading of the book, love in a headscarf, for quite some times. that book is about the author who tries to find her spouse through arranged marriage, which i think i might agree of doing it. in my opinion, it's not impossible to do such thing and if we really went through it, do you think any bad guy would agree of doing something like that? i mean to agree of arranged marriage. i presume not so, i guess once they agree of it, that means, he is a devoted person. as a human and as a son. it's not that i'm saying if someone is not up to arranged marriage, he or she is not devoted enough or something like that. this is mere opinion about those who's interested in this. hehe and i end up bluffing about nothing again. pardon me. in any way, i like the way she interprets her thought about the 9/11 incident because i think so too. i watched a lot of television programmes about this incident and read quite some books about it and i found, everyone's thoughts are different. no offence but i don't take accout of what i've seen in tv or read in books because sometimes, they're utter lies. i once asked people's opinion about al-Qaeda and such, and they responded by saying that we are blinded, confused too much by external informations so, i'll just try to figure out by my own. the way they see this incident are all different. some might think that it's all about terrorism and one might think of it as jihad. as for me, as a muslim, i'm ashamed of it. that is of course, if this incident really was caused by the jihad-ers but somehow, i don't think that it is so, yeah. whatever it is, islam is all about peace. the definition of islam itself is related to peace so, what's more can be said. there are many ways that we can convey our dakwa and terrorism is definitely not an option. if, if this really happened because of muslims, still, i don't believe that this is the right way of doing it and i would say no to it.

p/s : selamat menempuhi 10 malam terakhir ramadan. may this year be better than before. insyaAllah.

counting days

assalamualaikum . selawat dan salam atas baginda Rasulullah SAW . alhamdulillah ala kulli hal .

i'm in the middle of my mid term exam fyi laa . hihi . bapak susah kot . its really , i mean very very strenuous should i say ? sedih lg ahzan especially for my physics paper . seriously , arrggghh terrible like shooot . somehow , i can relate why i only have mere a for my physics sbjeck . horl . its really hard . well , in my opinion la but then when i ask smeone else , they find that physics are just fine so , i guess , its just me . heh . its a nightmare to think of how my marks would look like . for now , i'm trying hard to sooth my heart by thnking about going home . yeah , im going home ! hoho . excited . sgt . sgt . like finally , after more than a month , im going to see my family back , my home  and such such . haha .

about exam , yestrday i have 2 papers which were biology and statistics . bio was like , each minute ticked , i was like , gelabah tahap ntah pape  . its like crazy . i wrote with hands like parkinson smthing . dh la mrkh quiz bio rndah gle . i cant imagine what will my average score be . erkkk . as for statistics , the last one hour , my head ached like smthing swirl out my brain through my eyes . my head was spinning that i feel like fainted . i answered those questions in such pain that i barely remember the paper that i took . yg ni pn satu lg . mrkh quiz ngn test mcm ntah pape . sigh . insane much ? such unsanitary is unacceptable .

anyhow , 3 more days and i'm going home . yoohoo . tmorrow would be chemistry  then , research skill and finally logical reasoning and the next day i will be in bus , going back with syerah hfiz and frdaus ? i feel extremely giddy . and its ramadan soon . yeah ! insyaAllah everything would be jst fine . insyaAllah .

finally

assalamualaikum . 

these are few of my friends in ukm . ermmm . gmbr2 ne pn sbbnrnye ambk org pnye . hoho . notice smthing ? ad sorng muke mcm ana muslim and ad sorang muke mcm nurul amira shahira saiful bahari . haha . adios .

buckle up!

assalamualaikum . selawat dan salam atas junjungan baginda Rasulullah SAW . alhamdulillah ala kulli hal .

hari ni , for the first time , i finally spend my night smwhere else instead of that room . tetiap mlm kt situ je trperap . hee . ermm tday , i went to my uncle's house . in fact , i still am . hehe . anyhow , pergghh sibuk nye these days . to be exact , everyday is a busy day . bile kje ne siap , kje lain msuk . and the flow goes on . i dont even know how to cnsider myself as being free from work . horl . ermmm jst now , my uncle askd about arabic sbjct . whether i have tht sbjct or not here . obviously no la kn . then he said , what a waste so i said , yeah , kind of . he said again , bkn sikit tp byk . i was like .... yeah . mmg rugi but nk buat cmane lg . x dk rzeki nk pgi jordan :(

ermm today is 7th july . happy brthday k. wa ! heehee . sbnarnye nk ckp psl exam . haha . ths 16th , im going to sit for my midterm exam . boohooo . satu ap pn x bace lg . actually thts not the point . mmg sblm ne ak x bace awl2 . haha . prngai x snonoh . the thing is , lps exam , ad cuti . wooohooo . haha . excited nk cuti exam x ag . papepn , cuti dh dekat . haha . next week ad test . test calculus chpter proving . jst remembering it makes my stomach tied . tjuk tu , x phm2 . ish2 . haha .ble la nk stdy . but then , ths chpter is not about how much  we study but its more about how much we understand . even kalau x stdy pn bleh score sbnrnye klu phm but again , i dont so its kind of helpless . insyaAllah i'll try my best to at least know smthing about it . wee . if God wills it . statstics pn ad test next week . i actually find stats as a light sbject . at frst laa but these few last chpter , fuuhh dsyat r . haha .

as for my research . hmmpphh . ap la ak nk buat . serious , i'm thnking hard in doing smthng about bone cancer . insyaAllah . tp sush kot . bkn sush skit tp bapak sush . hee . mntk dpermudahkn urusan . amin ya rabalalamin . for now , i hve smthng else to do wth ths sbjct . we hve assgnment to cnduct small research about stress . and there would be wnner . the group with the highest validity and reliability . and unexpectedly , there will be prizes . x tau la btol ke x but they say smthng about going to either NSU in singapore or smwhere i frgot the name in bangkok . heee . and the we're for once , seriously participating in research class . haha . obvious kot tetibe je jd brminat . we'll see . that princeton guy , selamat lg d sana . and ths 18th i thnk , kothai will be going to abu dhabi to attend a cnference smthng la . wsh them luck . hehe .

p/s : kje btimbun tp buat x . what a bum .

holding in there

assalamualaikum . selawat dan salam ats baginda . syukur ala kulli hal .

frst and foremost , hmmmphh , let me heave a big sigh . hee . smpuuuttt la . smput dgn assgnment yg x ptus2 anddd smput dgn unending stairs . nk mkn pg kafe , trun tngga . bfore going down , blok 4 tngkat kne redah dlu . belum ap2 dh collapse . haha . anyhow , i'm still breathing and alive . alhamdulillah .

last weekend , i joined PpMO , which stands for permatapintar mathematic olimpiad . and as expected , i got .... nothing . weee . haha . the exam took about 3hours for 3questions . and i got no ruler , which was necessary to do the proving . no ruler , no mood . haha . thus , x buat la . i left it bare and i think i had good sleep for an hour . teruk kn . but its jst inevitable . its not that i dont know at all nk jwb soaln2 tu but then it needs a lot of thinking and i'm exhausted . my eyes wont open that i'm forced to sleep . its kind of unintentional that i sleep . but yeah , it went wth benefits of being empowered and reenergized . hihi . thniah utk mreka yg dpt hnorable mention , bronze , silver and gold .

one thing that i learned from ths PpMO , mathematics is not jst about counting . its not jst about arithmatics . its more . in fact , i jst know about it . jst realized that we are deceived so much that we are not aware of whats true and whts not . ermphh , we are jst too naive . being ignorance of the happenings that keep occuring . i'm terrified actually to know those truth about wht mathematics really is . its actually an odyssey in finding God . and how we dont know about it . insane , huh ? for instance , albert einstein . korang tau x that he's converted to Islam after dscovering smthing about line . there are no strraight lines in life actually . korang boleh bayang x mcm mne ? straight line x wujud . msti rase mcm ak ne melalut kn but then theres smthng about the speaker that cnvince me , he's telling the truth . and going back to einstein , he dscovered that and found the evidence in Quran . and somehow , thts why its not acceptable . try surf mklumat psl einstein and u'll know that he's dead in 1955 but his history are not told ten yers bfore . meaning that his hstory of life is deleted since 1945 . the truth are hidden . bummer kn ? time tu rse mcm ignorant sgt . jahil sgt . sume nk ambik dr phak laen . kn ? wht do u think ? no offence but i'm jst trying to express wht i thnk about wht i jst happen to find out . hee .

p/s : korang tahu x perdana menteri tu penggunaan yg salah . yg betul , menteri perdana . heeee .

tangled

assalamualaikum w.b.t. selawat dan salam atas Rasulullah . alhamdulillah ala kulli hal .

erm2 tday i got my frst assgnment . chemistry . and the nghtmare begins . haha . exaggerating much ? no la . actually , i had 2 classes which are chemstry and biology . sadly ++ pathetically ,  i didnt revise the topics tht're  going to be covered tday beforehand so i'm left confused . in both classes , unfortunately . esp in chemistry class , i was seriously in me dead end . its terrifying snce i could see that i'm the only one who seems to be cnfused and didnt undrstand . then the misery cntnued in bio class . i felt extremely guilty towards madam sham snce she's kind of expcting all of us to do our own pre-revision and apprently , i didnt . once again i became a burden to my peers and lcturer . yela kn . dh ak x phm sorang je so the learning process were knd of dstracted . and i cntributed to that . hee . i feel very sorry to miss suganty and madam sham and the whole class . huu . but anyhow , i'd like to say my gratitude to my lecturers and ai ngn wan yg sudi ajar sy . lps ne , i'm going push myself to the limit and do my own pre-revision . insyaAllah .

after class , my brain were all scattered . i couldnt digest a thing . otak x saturated pn tp berketul2 smpai brain x bleh interpret . mmg pening gle . after zohor , initially , we were going to have tutorial but somehow , all classes were dismissed so , at 2pm , blik kolej . at 3pm , igt nk prgi library tun sri lanang nk cri material buat assgnment  ngn nora dayang and qas but then , what a day . we waited for the bus from 3 to 4++ pm . thats more than an hour . what a waste of time . eventually , we dcided to jst call it off . msk je bilik balik . mmg rase sgt2 rugi mase yg kteorg tnggu bas tu . in an hour , mcm2 bleh buat tau . dah la la bkn hari2 blik awal . biasenye pkul 6 bru balik so mmg rugi sgt . whts more ,  otak mmg serabut sgt mse tu . dgn bio and chem yg nk cover balik .ishh . bas tu memangggg cari pasal . snce kami puasa , mmg rse dhydrated and exhausted way beyond bearable . bilik plk kt tingkat 4 . sedih kan . what a day . still , blessings in dsguise . we never know whts in store for us so , never give up in hope and Him . amin ya rabbal alamin .

 tune to study mode . weee . insyaAllah .

fallen to places

assalamualaikum . selawat dan salam atas Rasulullah dan alhamdulillah atas segalanya .

actually i have nothing to say but since i'm on it , i guess i have to at least make an effort in it . bkn selalu ade mse nk buat mnde2 ne .hee . erm how am i about to put ths ? ermm kuliah dh start since mnday and alhamdulillah as far as it goes , no problem , yet . its quite a burden as we have a lot to cover but then its fun to learn . fun , eh ? fkir2 lah sndri . in my point of view , yes but seeing those hardworking peers , i thought of how i really have to do my best which i'm not accustomed to . hehe . ntah la camane . might as well become one of them . haha . miracle do happen , rght ? erm , here , i have 8 sbjects tht have to be taken . fiz , kim , bio , statistics , research skill , logical reasoning , apresiasi bhasa and jati diri kebangsaan . some of them are sbjcts for those frst dgree students . haaa , tula sbb namenye asasipintar . blajor pn fast paced la sket . ak ne , yg x brape nk pntar trcungap nk catch up . hee . erm so , credit hour could be transfered laaa . jd , kalu msk ijazah nnti might boleh shortened the time span utk dpt dgree . but before all , pointer utk frst sem tht we have to get is 3.0 and above whch is quite high . kalu x , kne tendang . ermmm ap nk buat . as for scond sem , kalu x cpai trget , kne repeat sem . so the risks are there . same mcm asasi laen .

i told bfore about going to princeton and apprently , ths aflah named-guy dpt . cngrats and good luck . sbnrnye x knal pn dye . i know who he is but not a friend of mine . i mean , i dont know who i can cnsider as my friend .   hehe . pape pn thniah . nk ckp dpn2 kn mcm buang tbiat plk snce i've never talking to him . wee .

mara results are out . and sadly enough , i'm not qualified . at frst , i cant deny my frustration . that lasted for about 5 minutes and how i realized , how lucky i am . i dont have to thnk more and make dcsion on whch both have their own pro and cons . i could jst live on my life and strive wth what i have now . alhamdulillah ap yg x baek tu ad bnde yg terbaik utk diri kite . ermm buat kwn2 di asasi pintar yg dpt mara , tahniah sgt2 . u guys deserved to be there . so do those tok jiring peers . tahniah spe2 yg dpt :)

p/s : rindunye kt fmily . ble dgr  hasif nangis dlm phone bru ne , mcm nk nangis je . hee .

the very first day

assalamualaikum . selawat dan salam atas baginda Rasulullah . alhamdulillah ats segala nikmat .

ermm i dont know how to start ths but yeah , as all of you might know , i went to ukm strting from wdnesday . the frst thng we did , dftar and then checkin blik . i got the whole one room for myself which is not smthing tht i adore (tp lps tu ad roomate) . dh la x bape nk cntik bilik tu . wee . hehe . zip2 mulut . erm and then they callled us back to give some kind of briefing . they talked about the PERMATApintar programme  and such such ; how those kids could go to america at such age of 16 or 17 and how kids of primary school could do smthng extraordinary and how kids of 3 year-old could solve prblems of standard 6 . crazy , eh ? and  they kind of expect us to do as much . i thnk tht i'm not at tht par yet . i mean i might be good in a small group of community but being a genius , erk , i dont thnk so . jst being in these kind of group , asasipintar ne la , i chickened out . serious x tipu .  sorang2 mcm pergh , komunikasi mmg pergh r . cnfidence mmg , ak jd tukang respek je . dh la plk i'm the kind of talk-less around people tht i dont know . i mentioned ths bfore but ths time , i emphasize , i'm not as talkative when i dont have friend around . and i have to admit ths even when i hate ths , my confidence really loose when i'm not in my people . uhuk . malu je bile bace sndri mnde ne . haha . 

erm anyhow , ths prgramme is created to really polish us in becoming human beings . the shiny-polished-mirror-like one . hee . there are like lots and loads of acctivities to join . i mean the very frst day , they asked us to write an essay about going to princeton in u.s. , which if selected , will be going there at 22nd or 23rd or smthng of june la to join the summer camp there for 3 weeks . one student will be selected among the asasipintar students an another one from the permatapintar la . and then tmorrow we have to sbmit the mathematics olimpiad prticipation form . ntah isi ke x and ntah dpt ke x . haha . org kt sini genius kot . ak ne kelip2 , sengih2 je tgk org . bijak pandai pn x msk lg , nk jd genius . wee . haha . but yeah , i'm putting my trust , fully on ukm  , to hone my skills , my self-esteem , self-cnfidence and all those kind of stuff .haha .

asasipintar is smthng that i would recommend . its an excellent programme but in my point of view , we have to struggle . wickedly hard since its basically back to the basic , taking from scratch and innovate it to smthng thats worth to treasure . we dont have a fixed syllabus and such . mostly , its all about research . we're going to be paired with mentors and lecturers according to our likes and do some kind of research together . presentation is a must so as you can guess , communication skill is fundamental .

adios amigos .

p/s : skng dh pkul 2pagi . esok kalu smpat smbung la cite psl mnde ne .hehe . gedik melampau .

bila hati ckp dah lewat , tangan buat derk

assalamualaikum . selawat dan salam atas baginda . alhamdulillah .

bfore anythng , alhamdulillah , i dpt jgk brsary tu . after all those thousand calls and such , dpt jgk . kalu akak operator tu tau la sape yg call , agk2 x bh angkt dh kot . bosan tgk org same . hee . i calld bsary last week and they said tht ukm is on the list now . its kind of late at tht moment bcause actually i'm spposed to cmfirm my acceptance by 13th but i cnfirmd it on 15th so , its rather late la snce i knew about it later . and i called them again and again to know about my status la kn . whether my answer was accpted or not . there goes the unending calls again . and gratefully said , i'm in . so for now , sigh of relief . kne tnggu surat2 yg akn smpai , kate nye . i jst need to pay for all the expenses frst and claim blk la . alhamdulillah sbb ok sme . i had doubt at the bginning and strted to cnsider in accepting the allowance by kpt . fkir psl mnd tu smpai x wk ap pn psediaan nk msk u . hehe

talking about that , i'm going there tmrrow . how time flies , rght ? preparation nk msk u , sme buat hri ne . gile kn . thnks to kmah for helping me doing the shop . and tkah yg tjumpa kt sane accdentally . tnight , packing2 brg sme and last2 byk gile brg bwk . initial plan , sikit je nk bwk brg . then tnye org ne , tnye org tu , last2 ngn ak2 pn bwk byk . haha . mmg byk gile r beg . tnye org laen nseb baek mcm lbeh krg je . hee . ermm last sturday , syuk buat mkn2 so ad jmpe sme kwn2 la except for fni ngn aisyh . ap korang buat erk smpai x dtg . wee . i'm very glad to see them bfore going . extremely hppy bcause if i thnk about it , when else we'll be seeing each other like tht kn . then , the next day went to pkwan ngn tcer and few others . so pape pn puas hti sbb bleh jmpe . haha . crdits for tcer sbb tumpang tcer je bbrape hri ne .

so guys , i want to apologize for evrythng tht i've done bfore tht mght hurt u . for all those verbal fights espcially wth my families . those unheard voice , un-realized bitter feelings , friends , i'm very sorry . wish me the best and insyaAllah i'll wish yours . feel free to keep in touch . hehe .

dingdong

assalamualaikum wbt . selawat dan salam atas baginda Rasulullah .

lama suda tarak bukak ini page . hee . erm sprisingly busy ths days . i'm so stressed thnking on how my future plan would be . seriously overwhelming . i keep thinking on how i'm going to srvive . fyi , i have mara intrview ths strday . and upu dah tau kt mane . i got asasipintar , ukm . actually , i'm kind of reluctant bcause of few thngs la . too much thngs i have to consider at frst but for now alhamdulillah dah ok . insyaAllah ths 23rd , i would be there . ermm , my aunt ckp , ukm ne duk kat cerok hutan . nk g jln pn g kt sate kajang je . nk msk bndar , bas , trnsport , mmg hampeh . erm dlm hati , biar betol mk ck ak ne . heh . all in all , alhamdulillah . evrythng has its own pro and cons kn so , choose well and leave the rest to Allah .

i got bursary actually but snce ukm is not on the list of institutions that it gives so , i guess , goodbye . kind of upset snce i have the rght utk dpt kn . plk tu , sy dtempatkn kt ukm oleh phak kpt kn so , i got ths x bes feeling  . hehe . mcm x bsyukur je bnyinye . nauzubillah . if God wills it , evrthing would be jst fine . blessing in dsguise , rght ? another cncern , apparently , as far as i know , x dk sape pn tht i know pg kt ukm tu . huuu sdeh gk r . sebek sorang . join abg sebek . haha . the truth is , i'm talk-less when i'm wth smeone tht i dnt know. nk cri btol2 kwn plk bkn cncai2 . i mean if there's smone frm my school who will be there too , atleast bleh jd the eyes and ears kn . tp ble fkir2 , mase ne la nk test jati diri kn . mntak2 semuanya ok dan dpermudahkan . insyaAllah . i checkd mklumat psl kmasukn ke ukm tu . yuran pndftran gile mhal kot . 1K++ jgk la . i mean , syuk ckp klu usim 600++je . dh la nk tgk jgk mara cmane kn . klu dpt mara , kalau la kn , kalau , and terima offer tu , mcm burn je duit kn . ne kalau je . belum tentu dapat dan belum tentu terima .

gd luck guys on your ongoing lives and for those yg kne intrview mara . ganbatte kudasai .

pengikut tegar . hihi

assalamualaikum . salam dan selawat atas rasulullah .
i'd like to share my MARA essay . hihi . gedik melampau .

 Born to be a doctor . I can see that in me and I strongly believe  I am one of them . My name is Tengku Mardhiah Binti Tengku Nazmi , first daughter of Tengku Nazmi Bin Tengku Sulaiman and Nor Akma Binti Mohd Amin . Born in 9th July 1994 . I have 5 other siblings and one of them is a new born . Both my parents are working , my father is a radiographer whereas my mother is a teacher .

  Back then , I received my early education at Sekolah Kebangsaan Tok Jiring and thank God , i got 5As in UPSR . I was actively participating in martial art of Taekwondo at that time that i managed to represent the state of Terengganu . I was nurtured with determination and sense of responsibility all the way through . In 2007 , I continued my study at Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Agama Tok Jiring from form 1 to form 5 . With the support of all the people around me , I got 9As in PMR which then led me to the science stream class . I found this special vibe when learning Biology and this triggered my instinct of becoming a doctor . I tried my very best in balancing my studies and my co-curricular activities . Debate parliamentary style was one of the co-academic activities that I joined and happily said , I learned a lot of things despite missing class . I discovered my inner qualities that I never had the chance to find before . Gratefully said , my self-confidence and self-esteem increased and I improved my general knowledge as much . My position as the vice-president of Ping Pong club and secretary of Girls Scout in my school definitely hone my leadership skill besides many other good quality to be possessed .

  I got 10As 1B (9A+ 1A 1B+) in SPM and that moment I knew that the chance for me to further my study in medicine is bright . I realized  that this was it ! I could still fight for my dream of becoming a doctor . It would be a great pleasure to receive scholarship from MARA to further my study . I plan to study in Ireland as that country is famous for the born of great doctors . In fact , I have an aunt who studied there before and is now has her own clinic . I am inspired mostly by her and not to mention , my father . I want to be specialised in orthopedics because of him since his work involves in that branch . More than that , i enjoy studying about human anatomy . Other than that , I also have the desire to further my study in Jordan . Besides studying medicine , I can also  improve my Arabic language knowledge since I got B for that subject . The main reason of why I’d like to further my study abroad is because I want to get more experience of being out of place at first and adapting myself in it .

  When I get my degree , I will begin with working with the Ministry of Health . When things are going the way it should be , I’d like to further my study to get my Master and then Phd , specializing in orthopedics . My ultimate goal is to help people to live their lives in the healthiest way . I hope that I can be a doctor that grows . Learn new things as each day pass by . Perhaps going to be a lecturer so that I could give  back what  I was given . Instead of growing alone , it would be nice to help other people grow .

p/s : esei ini dbuat in 2 hours thnks to syuk kimah and fizah for the indirect guideline . thnks alot . kalu deadline lmbat lg sumpah x siap lg esei ne . haha

and the steep gets deeper

assalamualaikum . selawat dan salam atas junjungan baginda .

every rose has its thorn
jst like every night has its dawn
jst like every cowboy sing his sad sad song
every rose has its thorn

i hear ths song these days and realize how close it is in my heart . and i cant help but to thnk of how well it rflects lives . ermm i'm jst saying tht everyone's not perfect and never would be so we have to learn how to give and take . hehe .

sabar . a word tht is easy to pronounce but hard to comprehend . you never know the level of patience tht you have until you face wht you cannot handle . and yeah , you never know wht you cnt handle bcause you lose yourself first by then . thts when you act bfore thnking and thus regreting it later . so , sabar sblum buat ap2 . i'm nt the most patient prson out there and i have to tell tht i'm strggling hard in becoming one whch obviously not . hehe . if smthng rage you up , take few deep breath bfore throwing out your opinion . i thnk tht helps alot . ngehehe . i read ths smwhere in book and it says , sabar dalam mencari kelebihan diri . i read ths exactly when i had hard time and wthout doubt , i found solace in it . alhamdulillah , Allah gives His guidance to me at tht time and tenacity is wht i found .

you could grief when rose has thorn or you could rejoice when thorn has rose so , always see the glass half full . whch then leads to a happy life :)